Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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