he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
