we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize