I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
