We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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