I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
