my mouth tastes like poor choices
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
