Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
