Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
