are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
