You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
