Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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