I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
