i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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