The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
