I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
