An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize