Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this just has baby written all over it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
