I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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