I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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