i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
