you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The air taste purple.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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