Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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