And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize