He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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