Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
