i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
