susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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