why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
