i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
