and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm both gender and math confused
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
