I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
