Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
