I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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