Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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