Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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