just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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