please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
