oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
