PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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