In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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