found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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