I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
