My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
