I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
