Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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