I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
