another moral hangover. fuck.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
