I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
