Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
