i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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