My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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