It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
