that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
