I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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