scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize