theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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