wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm always down for nudity.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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