Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
