Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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