Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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