Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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