If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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