Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
