do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
