Fuck appropriateness.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
