me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
