So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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