Can i not drive my cunt home
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
